Tough Week

At 12:42 today I should have been on a plane to Boston.  Instead, I'm in Baltimore.  The day the doctor first told me of my injury was a really bad day.  I was out of it the rest of that day and part of the next.  I actually completely forgot where I parked my car that evening and the next morning forgot one of my passwords at work.  By that afternoon I moved on and accepted my circumstances.

Things were ok for a while, I was cross training hard, riding the bike, keeping Boston out of mind.  But now that it's race weekend, I haven't been extremely pleased these last few days.  To make matters worse, I've become so sick of using cardio equipment that I can't bring myself to do another minute on an elliptical or any other device.

My pride took another shot this morning.  I threw my name into the mix to be a pacer for the Baltimore Marathon, but due to my injury, the organizer (and rightfully so) is hesitant to accept me, especially for the faster paces.  Apparently, I'll be lucky to get in with the 3:30 group.  I completely understand and am not angry, but rather upset with myself that people may not see me as the ultra reliable, unbreakable runner I once was.  I think I can relate to the phrase "what have you done for me lately" that elite athletes have to deal with.

Going forward, I'm going to use my bike more and back off the cardio equipment for now.  I actually started doing one of the strength training circuits they have at my gym and will go with an every other day type of thing for that since it will certainly help me.

This Wednesday I see the doctor again.  I can already hop on my bad leg without feeling any pain.  If I get cleared to run, my next demon is going to be my own self-doubt.  Right up until my injury, I was so confident in myself and in such good shape that it really never mattered how I felt before or during a run, I would just suck it up and hit the pace I needed.  Even in that B&A Half where I felt off for the first half, I just stuck with it until my body hit a groove and ran the second half hard.

I wonder what it's going to be like when I start up again...